Jun 28, 2010

Letters to a younger Lizzy

I've been reading a couple versions of "letters to myself" on the various blogs i read.. and I really like them! Thought I'd give it a shot!

Letters to a younger Lizzy

Dear 6 yr old me,
I know you're scared, but it'll get better. I promise. Not for a while, but it will. So for now take care of your sisters, they'll need you to distract them. Stay strong missy

Dear 13 yr old me,
I know you feel uncomfortable at home. You only have a couple years left. She will leave him. I know you're angry with her for broken promises, but one day you will understand how scary of a situation it is for her too. Don't be too hard on her. She will leave him. It's going to get real bad for the next couple years, so when your aunt moves back home in the next couple months, hang out with her as much as you can. And your grandparents will take you in whenever you need a safe zone. Your gramma will forever have your back. Remember this, you will need this info repeatedly over the next decade.

Dear 15 yr old me,
It's time to breathe. You're going to be angry for a long while, and that's ok. You're allowed to have emotions about everything now. Be as angry as you need to be, but remember your gramma has your back. You can say anything to her, and she understands you. Same with your aunt. Talk it out, because if you don't you will lose your shit. in the worst way possible. And dude, lay off the boys. They are all bad news, and only want one thing from you. You will get hurt if you keep acting the way you are around them.

Dear 16 yr old me,
You are not alone. I know you feel you are, but you are not. Try to not be so angry with her. I realize she broke her promise to you girls of "no men, just us girls for a while" but he is a good man. A very good man. Give him a chance. He will change your life for the better and you will be grateful. And once again, lay off the dudes. and do you have to party so much? You will regret some of these choices you're making when you're older. So tone it down.

Dear 17yr old me,
He is going to hurt you. I realize there is a bigger purpose for this one to be in your life. but he is going to hurt you. So prepare yourself. You are going to learn a lot about yourself and about life, and about love (or what isn't) during your relationship with him. And you are going to end up a single mom. I know you promised yourself this would never happen to you, but it will. In the hardest way possible. So be prepared.

Dear 20yr old me,
Breathe. You feel scared, and angry, and weak, and you want to give up, except you have this beautiful baby to take care of. and even tho he cries, and eats constantly, and sucks all your energy, you know you have to do this for him. Breathe woman. You can do this. Even tho you don't feel like it right now, you are one strong bitch, and you are not going to let some lying selfish douchebag win. You are a fighter. But on the morning of your 21st bday, when you are exhausted and need some sleep, do not call him to come over, you will regret that fight for the rest of your life. Call your mother for help instead. She does care even if she acts like she doesn't. For real.

Dear 23 yr old me,
This horrible pregnancy is almost over. You are amazing. Being pregnant single mom was a bitch, and as much as you want this damn baby out of you, try to enjoy being pregnant. Because it's not going to happen again, and it will make you sad that you never enjoyed it. Once that daughter of yours is born, you are going to have her father around a bunch and life is going to get interesting. Did I not tell you a decade ago to lay off the boys? Geez woman. It will be hard, but the two of you will figure it out, and it will transform itself into a very good thing. I promise. He will understand you and let you be your crazy self, and love you for it. He will make you laugh when you feel like the world is ending. So just breathe. You will not be single mommy of two for long. It will be ok. Life gets happy soon. You deserve it. So calm the eff down and enjoy being pregnant. I'm very proud of you.

Dear 25 yr old me,
You deserve this happiness so quit being worried it's going to go away. You've fought enough and deserve some good, so calm down and enjoy this. Stop worrying. You'll get wrinkles.


Jun 27, 2010

i have to commit

suggested by @runaway_tweets

dress is tight
boots are zipped
drink in hand
lets find trouble
he's right there
looking your way
visions of nudity
and champagne bubbles

hot wax
and handcuffs
ripped fishnet
and more
are encouraging
your move
to him
then to the dance floor

bodies entwined
grind to the beat
'i want you
all over me'
he whispers
in your ear
hearts pounding
yet you feel free

nights over
time to go
the excitement
is overwhelming
as he pulls you
into his cab
i have to commit
to him this evening

Jun 23, 2010

wrapped in a midnight blue blanket

suggested by my twitter girly @canyonwalker.

nothing on tv tonight
mindless chatter
haunted by the ticking
of the clock
you want to look, but don't
he's out somewhere
and you're not with him
you're wrapped in a midnight blue blanket
crying on the couch
wishing this wasn't your life
wishing you had a way out
wishing there was more liquor
wishing for anything
but this

it hurts to think

Suggested by @CAMHOAPAMM.

this situation makes me twitch
anger makes the world spin
fists are ready to go
it hurts to think
so i wont
react on impulse
act with rage
Animosity runs through my veins
and you're my victim
so run for your life
fury is my fuel
i will get you

Jun 21, 2010

Until you looked me in the eyes

Wrote this bad boy in high school too. It's fun going through my old stuff. Enjoy! I remember being really proud of this one when it was finished. It's very high school.

Until you looked me in the eyes

I was crying on the grass
The morning I met you
I remember the moment perfectly
Sitting the in the morning dew

I felt like I was so alone
Until you looked me in the eyes
I felt the sparks go through me
I knew you were only mine

No one else could have you
'Cuz I fell in love right then
I know you think that's impossible
Because we were only seven

The next years went quickly
You became my very best friend
Through the bad time and the good
We saw each other to the end

Something unexpected happens
When you look me in the eyes
This time you kissed me
And caught me by surprise

We pretended it didn't happen
I didn't know what to say
You thought I was mad
So you went your own way

I missed you like crazy
Cried every single night
It was then I realized
I fell in love at first sight

I didn't want to believe
You loved someone else
I couldn't handle life without you
I was so depressed

Everyday added to the pain
Finally I lost all control
You heard about it from a friend
And told me we're still one soul

I was crying on the grass
Once again, saved by you
I remember the moment perfectly
There, in the early morning dew

I feel like I'm so alone
Until you look me in the eyes
I feel the sparks go through me
I know you're only mine

No one else can have you
We fell in love right then
You know now, thats possible
That's why we kissed again

Poems are like cars

Found my book of writing from high school! Holy bananas! Here's one of em!

are like
always speeding,
leaving you behind
in the dust,
dashing ahead
of you
letting you be
taking you
to wonderful new

Jun 20, 2010

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Fathers Day to those that deserve it!! I wanna take a minute and thank all that read my Fathers Day series on here. Those poems were hard. and liberating. and thank you! I love and appreciate my readers more than you know! xoxo!

Now onto the good stuff!

I know a man
who's existence is honorable
He mirrors patience
and love
and understanding
He is kind
and supportive
and easy to be with
He accepts you
for who you are you
your faults
your achievements
your everything
He doesn't judge
and he loves unconditionally
He has taught me how a man
should love a woman
and what real love is
He has taught me
what being a parent is
He is a great man
One of the best
His patience
and love
and understanding
transformed me
from the angry teenage girl
I was
to the woman
I now am
Gratitude is by far,
an understatement
for this man
who's existence is honorable

(you know who you are, I love you!, Liz)

Jun 17, 2010

Mischief at its best

This one was inspired by my crazy beautiful daughter. Bless her trouble making, love giving heart.

'I'm bored' thinks the toddler
What can I do?
Mommy is busy cleaning again
and I can feel
mischievousness setting in
Do I play with my toys?
Or should I bug my brother?
Where is the little kitty hiding?
because I really really love her
There's the fridge to get into
I can always find something in there
Oh no, my nose is running
Better wipe it on my bro's teddy bear
The guinea pigs are squeaking
so I run as fast as possible to say hi
I throw their food around the room and
If Mommy asks me about it I'll just lie
Oh snap! She found me!
I didn't hear her coming!
She asks who made the mess
I tell her 'I don't know' and laugh 'cuz I'm funny
Mommy asks me to be a good girl
so she can go back to cleaning
I say 'ok mommy' and give her a smile
Then get into her make up
oops! just broke her nail file...

Jun 16, 2010

Fathers Day pt 3

I hear him talking
but I don't understand
The baby kicks
making this confusing fog heavy
too heavy
The world is spinning and
I hear him talking
but I don't understand
He's leaving me
He's leaving me?
for her?
but the baby's kicking
our baby is kicking
His baby that is in my uterus
is kicking
Have the last four years meant nothing?
I thought we were in love
I gasp for air
hoping that helps the confusion
the confusion
has created a haze around me so
I can hear him talking
but I don't understand
We're having a baby
and he's moving out?
He's moving in with her?
but we've spent 4 years together!
and we're having a baby!
We're making our family!
Someone is screaming
"I hate you, I hate you"
over and over and
when I realize it's me
I give in to the pain
and collapse
the baby is still kicking
our baby is still kicking?
My baby is still kicking
so as i sob uncontrollably
I hold my 8 month pregnant belly
and somehow calm him down
so I can let the denial I've been living in

Father Day pt 2

This one is about my sons father. I figure get the hard ones out first, and then we can move on to happiness. Enjoy! xoxo

its 4 am and you're still alone
laying in bed
as far away from sleep as possible
how could he do this to you?
anxiety pulses through your veins
anger flows through your heart
and confusion paralyzes you
you love him
and you thought he loved you
but here you lie alone
carrying his child
while he's out with her
you wonder what his excuse will be this time
what dirty lie will come out his mouth
the mouth you have kissed
and loved
he belongs to you
and he's out with her
the confusion hurts your body
you hold your breathe and wait
wait for the pain to pass
you are startled by a sound
and you realize you're sobbing
your unborn child kicks
and your heart hurts
this isn't how it's supposed to be
you had visions of family
and joy
and love
confusion and hurt and agony
weren't any part of your plan
and here they are,
in control of you
baby moves inside your womb again
as if to give you the love you need
but how do you love right now?
how do you give your precious creation
the love he deserves
how do you survive this?

Jun 11, 2010

Fathers Day pt 1

In the spirit of the upcoming Fathers Day, I have decided to write poems all week about my experiences with the dads in my life. There are a few of them, so I should get a few poems out of it. Warning. It's gonna get personal. and deep.
Enjoy. xoxo

a young girl
hides in her room
and hugs her teddy bear
he's yelling again
and throwing things
and threatening
so she hides under the blankets
and closes her eyes
and sleeps til he's done

she's older now
still frightened, but now a little angry
tired of walking on eggshells
her feet are cut up and bleeding
and she wants a break
from the yelling
and the violence
and the threatening
so she sits in her closet
and closes her eyes
and cries til its done

a teenage girl
full of fear and anger
doesn't know what love is
covered in blood from the eggshells
she needs a break
from the yelling
and the violence
and the threatening
so she lies about where she is
and she ignores the war
and parties away the pain

a young woman
hates who she is
found someone just like him
to fall in love with
maybe she deserves it
all the yelling
and the violence
and the threatening
so she turns to partying
to help with the pain
and ends up pregnant

a single mom
alone, betrayed, hurt
she is confused and scared
and wants to die
she can barely take care of herself
let alone her new baby
but she holds him close to her
and promises
No yelling
No violence
No threatening
I love you and I will keep you safe.

(to be continued)

Jun 10, 2010

i am hot and sticky

Suggested by my sister! If you're into photography, you can check out her website here. If you're on facebook, you can like her page here. Have I pimped her out enough? yes? ok! on with poetry!!

warning- this one gets a little dirty. (i've been drinking. and let's face it, I'm female.) if you are young, you probably shouldn't be reading this. turn away young one! turn away!!

ok, now on with it!

Passion is pulsing
I need you
Touch me
Erotica intended
Need me
Humidity rising
Sensual contact
You want me
Impulse takes over
Intense pleasure
Our bodies in sync
Tell me what you want
I am hot
I am sticky
and I am yours
Control me

Jun 8, 2010

if I ruled the world.

This was suggested by my twitter girly @andygirl. The poem she previously wrote for my poetry project can be found here. You can follow her on twitter here. If you are on facebook, you should 'like' her page. because it's good. If you haven't figured out yet that she is the bomb, I will just tell you. She is the bomb.

if i ruled the world
being free spirited would come naturally
judgement would be non existent
and everyone would love each other
if i ruled the world
heartbreak wouldn't exist
love wouldn't be painful
and no one would lie
if i ruled the world
creativity would reign
joy would be constant
and peace would be felt daily
if i ruled the world
sadness would be unavailable
depression impossible
and loneliness void
if i ruled the world
positivity would influence all
happiness conquers
and dreams are acheived
What a good place this would be,
if i ruled the world.

love is over. move is over, life begins

Suggested by @meredithblumoff. She has had a rough few weeks. Send her some love here.

The sun shines in
on a room
full of boxes and dust
you're tired
but there is work to do
Your heart is broken
and your house is in shambles
and you want a break
from all of this
but there isn't enough time
Moving day arrives faster
with each tick of the tock
and your heart should be healing
but it feels like it's not
Before you know it,
your possessions are in boxes
in the back of the truck
Driving across the country
leaves you too much time to think
of memories, and past love,
This drive is an emotional one
Leaving the old is scary
but starting over is liberating
Before you know it you've arrived
It takes a few days
to get it all in order,
and when you catch a second to think
you realize
Love is over
Move is over
Life begins

Jun 7, 2010

he'd be a free man today

Suggested by @runaway_tweets! You can follow her here!

Thunder rolls outside
perhaps my pounding headache?
side affect of emotional build up I'm sure
Rain cascades down
or are those my tears?
Sadness leads to the confusion
I'm feeling
so much to be said
and no one to say it to
ashamed of decisions
in my past
I suppose Hell has an open seat
for me
and if I'm lucky
a bucket of popcorn
he'd be a free man today
the best man I've known
would have been free today
If it weren't for my selfishness
and my fear
What a nightmare this has been
He wasn't innocent either
he was the best man I've known
admitting his sins
and taking the blame for mine.
People have suffered
and now
regret surrounds all I do
he'd be a free man today
but instead I'm alone

Jun 5, 2010


between new baby smell and soft hair
colic and naptime
snuggles and the perfectness that is baby love
endless laundry and sleepless nights
bubble baths and dirty diapers
emotional tornadoes and the fight to not give up
your precious new baby
into a toddler
and you don't know how
or when
this happened
so you crawl into bed with your lil monster
while she's sleeping
and your lips brush her perfect little cheek
and the spark that is felt
is unexplainable
unexplainable perfect love
that only a mother could understand
and you realize that no matter
how old she gets
she will always be your precious baby

Jun 4, 2010

Thank you!

I started this blog to have a place for my writing. As long as I can remember, I've loved writing poetry, and a blog just for it seemed perfect! I started my poetry project to get some inspiration. I was having somewhat of a writers block, and had an idea to ask my twitter friends to send me a line for me to write a poem with. I honestly didn't think that anyone would be interested, and was very excited when a few were! I then had the idea to ask those interested to write for me! I'd send them a line, and they'd have a guest spot on my blog! This whole thing has been very exciting, and inspiring, and I wanna send a HUGE thank you to those that have written, suggested lines, and followed along. I love you all!! And appreciate your support in my creative journey more than you know! I would be so content if my beloved poetry project lasted forever!! Much Love!!

look to the clouds for inspiration

Guest writer!!! @andygirl. You can follow her here.

feeling dead
not dead exactly
void of feeling
of life
of spark
of emotion
any emotion will do
the lack consumes me
eats away at the empty space
feeling naught but a strange hunger

I lie here
fully awake
waiting for life to find me
searching tentatively
with an inch of my soul
not moving my heart
it waits to beat
encased safely in its box

I feel a slight breeze
wafting brazen comfort across my face
brazen with hope
I had forgotten
and like that she is gone
fickle as she is
yet my core is teased
for the first time I open my eyes
and see
the world has changed above me
rearranged by the wind
beautiful though slight

something bubbles up
gushing from somewhere I’d left behind
what but emotion
emotions, all
suddenly pregnant with feeling
sobbing with all I have
tears flood my face
and then the ground beneath me
each drop contains a portion
of my essence
anger, joy, passion, sorrow
passion clings to my skin
seizes my being
pulls my heart out of its cage
pumping it with life

I look up yet again
wiping the wet from my cheeks
and I feel

Jun 1, 2010

fuck bees

This poetic gem was suggested by @gordondew. You can follow him here.

You spend your life looking for the perfect flower
it has to have the right shape, and the right colors
smell good, but not too strong.
It should accentuate your features
and not steal the attention from you
You spend a lot of energy and time
looking for the perfect flower
Once you find it
it is yours
You do not want some random bee flying around your flower
Some may think this bee is harmless,
a beautiful part of nature
but you know the truth
You're not naive
You've been stung before
You remember the pain
Fuck bees